In a new commercial in India for Tanishq jewellery, a woman preparing for her wedding puts on a Tanishq necklace. At the ceremony, her daughter calls her asking if she can participate in the pheras, an Indian ceremony where the couple walk around a fire seven times while saying their vows. The groom is moved by the girl and picks her up, filling his bride with emotion.
A non-Indian would likely miss this point, but it is clear in the ad that this is a second marriage for both bride and groom, and since historically in India, divorced or widowed women are outcasts, the ad is contrary to Indian tradition. The ad is apparently causing quite a stir in India with viewers talking about the cultural taboos and also about the bride’s relatively dark complexion, a turn away from the country’s mainstream obsession with light-skinned lead actresses.
The ad has sparked conversations on Twitter, with celebrities and politicians also weighing in. Parliament member and industrialist Naveen Jindal praised the bride’s darker skin tone and the non-traditional marriage. Apparently, the team that created the ad chose the actors to ensure the couple would look like one of respectable equals, because otherwise traditional-minded Indians might otherwise have assumed that the man was marrying the divorced or widowed woman out of pity.
Living and working in a town that is majority Asian, I have many divorcing Indian clients who invariably express their concerns that divorce is dishonorable and shameful in their culture. I feel sad for them because divorce is hard enough without this added burden. Most everyone feels sadness and a sense of failure at some level, among many other difficult emotions. These feelings should not be exacerbated by familial and social shaming and dishonor. Hopefully this ad will start a much needed conversation among Indians about the need to support each other in these difficult times, not shame each other and add to the pain.
Another way to minimize the financial and emotional pain of divorce is to resolve the issues outside of court through Collaborative divorce or mediation, private and voluntary processes that enable spouses to divorce privately and in accordance with their own values.
With offices throughout the Bay Area, California divorce lawyer Lorna Jaynes provides options and processes to resolve family law disputes and divorce without the bitterness and hostility engendered by the adversarial process.